


A Lesson in Perception

by yeska_noka



Category: 7 MEN 侍 | 7 MEN Samurai (Band), Johnny's Entertainment, Johnny's Jr.
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:15:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29074668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeska_noka/pseuds/yeska_noka
Summary: Reia’s a bit of a puzzle, but Katsuki wants more than anything to figure him out.
Relationships: Motodaka Katsuki/Nakamura Reia
Kudos: 5





	A Lesson in Perception

Katsuki feels like an idiot. Of all the people in the world, he had to go and fall for Nakamura Reia. 

Reia, who has half the company wrapped around his finger. Reia, who flirts unabashedly with anyone and everyone. Reia, who thinks it’s all a game, and who would never take him seriously. Katsuki could tell Reia exactly how he feels, and Reia would laugh and walk away smiling, completely oblivious to Katsuki’s broken heart. And so Katsuki doesn’t tell him. 

Katsuki’s just opened his bento when Reia walks in, and Katsuki’s immediate instinct is to freeze. He has nowhere to hide. 

It’s a weird system they have; Katsuki sucks at sticking to his diet by himself, and it helps when he has to answer to someone. Even if he totally sneaks around and hides from Reia, knowing that Reia is always watching and that he could get caught at least keeps Katsuki in the right frame of mind, even if he doesn’t always make the decisions he knows he should. He’s grateful to Reia for that, and he knows that even if Reia honestly doesn’t care that much, he enjoys the chance to play up his sadistic side by being strict with Katsuki. It’s actually kind of cute. 

So he’s surprised when Reia just silently takes a seat across from him and doesn’t reprimand him for all the rice as usual. Katsuki waits a moment, and when Reia still says nothing, tentatively picks up one of the meatballs on the tray and takes a bite. Reia watches him carefully, and Katsuki wonders if this is some new method to guilt him into eating healthier. But while the scrutiny makes him feel a bit warm, he finishes his lunch without comment from Reia. He’s not sure if he should say anything himself, and as soon as he starts clearing away the plastic, Reia pulls out his phone and starts tapping away. Katsuki is very, very curious, but it feels weird to ask. 

The second time is just as strange, and the third. But Katsuki starts to get used to it, as weird as it is. He’s mostly able to ignore Reia as he eats, just focusing on his food, but occasionally he glances up to watch Reia watching him. And once they’ve settled into this routine, he starts to notice something else. Reia seems so focused on him that he completely forgets about his own face; his expression is fond and gentler than Katsuki imagines he intends for it to be. It makes Katsuki feel lucky both to see it, and to think that he might be the cause of it.

Eventually, his curiosity gets the best of him. 

“Is there a reason you keep watching me eat?” he asks abruptly one day, and Reia startles. 

“What?” It’s like he was so absorbed he didn’t even hear Katsuki’s question. Katsuki hides a smile. 

“Why are you watching me eat?” he repeats. 

Reia shrugs, and his voice is normal when he speaks, as if he hadn’t just been gazing almost lovingly at him. 

“My drama is all about food, right?” he starts, and Katsuki nods. “The point is for everyone to make the food seem delicious. But I wasn’t sure how to express that. But then I thought of you.” He nods at Katsuki. “You always seem so happy when you have food, like you’re genuinely really enjoying everything you eat. So I’m trying to figure out exactly how you’re expressing that, so I can do it too.”

It’s kind of embarrassing, but also kind of sweet, and Katsuki feels warm through and through. 

“So did you figure it out?” he asks, aiming for casual. 

“I figured out _something_ ,” Reia answers, and he’s got a weird half-smile on his face, and entirely refuses to elaborate when Katsuki asks what he means. “Just watch the drama.”

Katsuki does watch, but he doesn’t remember what he’s looking for, too distracted by Reia himself. His character is so silly and so cute and in many ways, so very _Reia_ that Katsuki feels like he’s falling in love with him all over again. 

“It was really good,” he tells Reia about the first episode. “You did a great job. I love Ryosuke.”

It’s the closest he can come to saying how he really feels to Reia’s face. 

Reia just smiles that weird half-smile again that Katsuki doesn’t know how to interpret. “I thought of you.”

Katsuki doesn’t know if he means for the eating scenes, or for… what, exactly. But with the way Reia is looking at him like it’s something of consequence, Katsuki feels too shy to ask him to clarify.

“I’m happy if I helped,” he mutters. 

“You always help,” Reia replies, but his face is schooled into a neutral expression and Katsuki can’t read anything into it. He lets it go, but the words still echo in his brain for days. 

He always wishes he could do more for Reia, that he could have his back the way Reia has his. But Reia doesn’t let him, or anyone, so Katsuki thought. But that doesn’t seem to be true. He’s not sure what he’s done, but the fact that Reia seems to think Katsuki is _somehow_ helping him has Katsuki kind of confused, but pleased. 

Still, he cautions himself, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything. He’s known Reia for years now, and it’s not unusual for Reia to thank people; maybe this was just another way of saying it.

As much as he revels in Reia’s attention, he doesn’t want him to treat him like his cute kouhai anymore. He wants Reia to see him as an equal, as someone he can rely on. He wants him to see him as a friend, as someone he can come to. And maybe, if it’s possible, to even see him as his partner. 

But Katsuki isn’t above taking advantage of Reia’s affections. He knows that Reia will come to him, that Reia will hold him close and shower him with attention if he thinks Katsuki is feeling down. And so Katsuki finds himself “feeling down” a little bit more often. Even when he’s perfectly fine, he’ll stare at the wall and ignore the other members until Reia comes and hugs him, petting his hair and rubbing soothing circles across his back. It feels so good to have him close, and it’s a vicious cycle. He feels so content and happy when he’s in Reia’s arms, but he hates how it doesn’t really mean anything to Reia at all. How he wishes it did.

Reia would never admit it, but Katsuki can tell from some of the things he says that Reia’s just a little bit lonely. It’s been years since… things got messy, and as far as Katsuki knows, Reia’s never really gotten over it. He’s just kind of locked up his heart and shut people out, and Katsuki doesn’t have any of the answers. He wishes he could make Reia feel safe and loved enough to let himself out. But Reia is strong, and he doesn’t need anyone, and he doesn’t need him. 

Yet slowly, Katsuki starts to notice things that ignite a spark of hope deep in his chest. He notices how Reia sometimes takes a deep breath when he’s holding him. At first, Katsuki thought his sighs were of resignation, a little bit exasperated with Katsuki for being like this yet again. But then he realizes that Reia only does it when he presses his nose to Katsuki’s head, when he presses his cheek to Katsuki’s, and Katsuki starts to wonder if maybe Reia is just breathing him in. 

Maybe it’s just Katsuki’s imagination. But it’s not the only thing. Reia’s slow to let him go. Even when they’re running low on time, and even when Katsuki asks if Reia shouldn’t be getting ready for the show, Reia just shakes his head and doesn’t let go. He forgoes his precious primping time just to hold him, and it’s unusual enough for someone as vain as Reia that Katsuki takes notice. 

He kisses Reia’s cheek gently, chaste enough to pass for a friendly thank you, and his skin is warmer than it should be against Katsuki’s lips. When he pulls back, Reia’s gaze slips to the side as he avoids looking at him. Katsuki wonders. 

Reia can be moody himself. Sometimes he’s energetic and cheerful, bouncing around and smiling at everyone. Sometimes he’s bitter and sarcastic, throwing biting comments that the other members take in stride and do their best to ignore. But when he’s in one of his moods, everyone knows it’s best to just stay out of his way. Yet Katsuki is curious. If it works for him... 

It might backfire in his face, but the next time Reia snaps at Taiko for seemingly no reason, instead of moving away, Katsuki does the exact opposite. Even as the other members all find excuses to leave, he cautiously crosses the room to Reia, who just eyes him as he approaches. But Reia doesn’t move and doesn’t say anything, and then Katsuki is close enough to pull him in for a big hug. Reia goes stiff against him and for a moment, Katsuki thinks he might push him away. But then Reia slowly, slowly relaxes. He doesn’t exactly hug Katsuki back, but his arms go from hanging limply at his sides to resting with his hands on Katsuki’s hips instead, much more natural. 

They stand like this for a long time, until Reia is leaning into him, most of the tension gone. And then, Katsuki gets up the nerve to try one more thing. He shifts one hand from Reia’s back, up, up, slowly. He doesn’t think Reia will respond well to having his hair touched, but Katsuki slides his fingers along the back of his neck, just barely stroking the skin along his hairline. And Reia’s reaction is immediate and obvious. There’s a sharp, quiet inhale, and Reia shivers against him. 

Katsuki freezes, his blood rushing. He expects Reia to pull away, to tense up and snap at him, to pretend like it didn’t happen. But Reia does none of those things. He must be able to feel the way Katsuki’s heart is pounding in his chest where they’re pressed together, but he doesn’t react, and he doesn’t move. Katsuki picks up where he stopped, fingers moving carefully, gently across Reia’s skin, and if anything Reia just presses slightly closer. Katsuki keeps it up until his heart rate settles back into a normal rhythm. 

When he finally pulls back, Reia doesn’t look away. He says nothing, but his eyes are a touch darker than usual. It steals Katsuki’s breath as they stare at each other, until finally Reia blinks and turns away. Neither of them acknowledge what happened, but Katsuki knows it was significant, somehow. 

Something has changed; Katsuki just doesn’t know what. 

It’s weeks before he even finds himself alone with Reia again. 

Katsuki’s been waiting at the studio long enough that he’s started to wonder if he’s gotten the time wrong when someone else finally turns up. Reia’s mouth is pinched tight, and he looks surprised to see Katsuki.

“What are you doing here?”

Katsuki blinks. He must have gotten it wrong after all. “I… thought we had practice at noon?” 

Reia blinks back at him. “How did you know that?”

“One of the managers reminded me after my drama filming yesterday.” Katsuki is pretty confused at this point. “Was he wrong?”

Reia sighs. “No. But look at our chat.”

He drops into a chair, slouching over the table and resting his head on his bag, tilting enough to look sideways at Katsuki as Katsuki opens up the app on his phone. 

The most recent messages in their group chat are from Reia, relaying meeting and rehearsal times the managers had told him, and replies of confirmation from the rest of the members. Katsuki looks at that day’s scheduling. 

_Band practice: 2:00 pm_

“Wait, practice is at 2:00?”

“No, practice is at 12:00,” Reia replies, and then turns so his face is half buried in his bag. “...I left off the 1.”

“Oh.” Katsuki thinks about all the implications of that. If they lose their studio time, they won’t have another chance this week, unless the managers can shift around everyone’s schedules and somehow match another empty slot, if there even is one. Possibly shift filming times and put off photoshoots? Or… it would be asking a lot for them to sort it out. “Well, shit.” 

Reia just groans. “No kidding.” He sits up and sighs heavily. “I gotta go apologize to management.”

Katsuki stands up when Reia does. “Ok. I’ll go with you.”

“No,” Reia frowns. “It’s my fault. I’ll talk to them.”

“It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to go by yourself.”

“It’s my responsibility,” Reia says stubbornly. “So I’ll deal with it.”

“We’re in this together,” Katsuki reminds him, but Reia just shakes his head and stands to leave. 

Katsuki grabs his arm, a little bit desperate. He hates that Reia puts so much on himself. He’s always there to support Katsuki, to cheer him up, to console him, to make sure he’s left alone if that’s what he needs. But as much as Katsuki wishes he could do the same for Reia, Reia doesn’t let him. He’s independent and proud. And he’s strong, and maybe he really doesn’t need Katsuki at all. But Katsuki can’t accept that. All he knows right now is that he can’t let Reia walk out that door without him.

“You’re not alone, Reia,” Katsuki pleads with him. “Let me help you. Let me be there for you, too.”

Reia just stares at him, and Katsuki doesn’t know how to get through to him. He has nothing. Except the truth. 

“I love you,” Katsuki says. 

Reia’s reaction is nothing like he expected. He expected denial or rejection, or maybe, _maybe_ even acceptance. But instead Reia just laughs, short and sharp and unhappy. 

“Maybe,” he says bitterly. “But not the way I want you to.”

Katsuki wasn’t prepared to deal with this simultaneous disbelief and... confession? It’s so like Reia to tell him just like that, cynical and resigned. His heart soars as Reia’s meaning really sinks in. But it’s so frustrating that he can’t hear what Katsuki is telling him, even when he uses the plainest words possible. Katsuki knows he’s been hurt in the past, badly, so he understands why Reia might refuse to recognize the truth of his words. But whether it’s out of willful self-protection, or because his ridiculous belief that he doesn’t deserve to be loved has become so ingrained that he’s just unable to, it pains Katsuki to hear it. 

He reaches out to touch Reia’s face, waiting until Reia makes eye contact before speaking. 

“I think I love you _exactly_ the way you want me to.” 

It takes time to sink in, but Katsuki can see the moment Reia finally realizes what he means. His eyes widen slightly and his expression softens. He almost looks _shy_. 

“Katsuki…” he murmurs, and Katsuki won’t hold back anymore. He leans forward and presses a kiss to Reia’s cheek, soft and sweet. 

“ _Please let me love you_ ,” he whispers, and then kisses lower, brushing the corner of Reia’s mouth. And when Reia doesn’t move away, he presses his lips to his, tender and coaxing. 

Reia’s response is slow and hesitant, but he moves his mouth against Katsuki’s and leans in to his touch. 

When Katsuki lets him go, Reia’s eyes remain closed for a long moment. 

“Tell me again,” he says, and only once Katsuki repeats his confession does Reia open his eyes to look at him. There’s a faint smile hovering in the corner of his lips. 

“If you break my heart, I’ll kill you,” he tells Katsuki, and Katsuki can only smile in return. 

“It’s a deal.”


End file.
